It’s five-thirty on a Thursday night and the first question that comes to mind is, “Why is Landon not home yet?” Two of my children are outside playing while one is headed toward the house crying and screaming at the top of his lungs, “They wont let me swing!" Meanwhile, inside the house, I'm attempting to cook supper while running back and forth from the windows and front and back doors, keeping track of kids. The noodles are boiling over, the roasted vegetables are smoking in the oven, and the rolls are burning, all the while my two year old is standing at the door like a broken record repeatedly yelling, “OUTSIDE MOMMY OUTSIDE!” This is all happening before we’ve even sat down for dinner.
We finally get everyone cleaned up and head to the table. The girls set the table and get all the drinks while I put food on the plates. My rule is when you receive your plate you speak two words, “Thank you.” My five year old doesn’t obey this rule too well and so dinner frequently begins with him yelling, “This food smells yucky,” as he dramatically throws his head on the table and pouts. Finally, we all have our plates, Landon prays and then every child wants to take turns praying. Silently I simply pray, “Lord, help me survive this mealtime.” Just as I take my first few bites, typically, Adalaide spills her milk, Adoniram spits his food out, Alastair throws his food, makes a dirty diaper and digs in it; and our oldest, Arabella, gets upset because no one is listening to her. As our dinner time escalates in volume, I ask myself, “Why do I endure the torture of eating with these little animals?” I question the authenticity of the “family meal time studies” where statistics say children who eat three or more meals with their family around the table are less likely to be depressed, promiscuous, or involved in drugs. Where are the studies that show the mental health of parents after eating meals with their children? Do any studies say that parents won’t do drugs if they eat dinner with their children? In my heart, I would really like to pick up my plate and run as fast as I can to a quiet closet in the house and lock everyone else out. Somehow in the middle of the chaos the Lord sustains me and reminds me of how great and deep and wide His love is for me even with all my imperfections.
In Ephesians 3:16-19 Paul prays, “that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” In this moment I’m reminded to beg God for a strengthening of His power in my inner being to love my beautiful but not so perfect children with the depth of His love.
Even though meals times are difficult right now and honestly have been for the past eight years with young children, I can survive them and have joy during them because I know and have access to a love that surpasses knowledge, Christ’s love. My children need to see His love for them and not just on Sunday morning or in public places when everyone is watching, but also in the middle of dinner time chaos. Dinner time isn't so much about the perfect meal or the perfect manners; it’s about giving four beautiful souls my undivided attention and letting them know I care. God wired us for relationships and our children need our loving relationship. They need to know they are loved and they matter to us more than a clean house, or TV, or social media, or friends. Dinner time is a great way to slow down and treat our children as gift from God. Not a gift that we get annoyed with or that we want to sell at a garage sale, but a treasured gift, given to us from the King of Creation.
We have begun a family tradition of letting everyone take a turn sharing about their day during dinner time. Before we even sit down Arabella now says, “Are you ready to hear about my day?” She loves sharing that time with us. Our mealtimes look different each night now that we have ballet, soccer games, and baseball. Even if dinner time is cereal at eight o’clock its still a time for us to sit and listen to our children's needs and to show them the love of Christ.
Do I still feel stressed at dinner time by the baby screaming and all the clean up that needs to take place after the meal? Yes, but if I can have a heavenly perspective and think on Matthew 19:14 where Jesus welcomed little children into His arms and said, “Let the little children come unto me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven,” then in Christ’s strength I can stop dwelling on the crumbs all over the floor, the spilt milk, the food that’s not being eaten and take time to welcome my children into my arms and let them know they are loved.
